A Failed President and a Failed Movement

This is less a column and more of a symbolic funeral. It is a funeral for the failed right wing movement and their failed President. That is not to say that the right wing movement has not been successful. They have taken over the courts, the news media, dominated the White House and for the last twelve years they have held control of the Congress. All of these, though, are only political successes. At the same time they have, at every turn, proved themselves completely incapable of governing this country and especially running it's foreign policy.

The current Presidential approval rating of 36%, according to a recent American Research Group poll, when combined with an even lower national approval of Congress, shows that Americans now see just how far out of the mainstream the Republican leadership of this country is. They also see very clearly that they have been lied to repeatedly when it comes to the most crucial issues we face.

In 2008, Republicans will have run our federal government for twenty of the last twenty-eight years and twenty-eight of the last forty. They have stacked our courts with right wingers, cut taxes for the wealthiest while raising the burden for the rest of us, limited free speech, broken down the separation of church and state, built up mountains of deficit spending which we may never get out from under and run militaristic foreign policies which first support such enemies as Saddam Hussein and later used him as a scapegoat for further war.

Their 1980's Middle East policy was disgraceful. First they cut and ran when attacked in Lebanon. Then they played both sides of the fence illegally in the Iraq/Iran war. Meanwhile they literally created Osama Bin Ladin by funding his Pan-Islamic movement's war in Afghanistan. Bin Ladin proved to himself that he could bring a superpower to it's knees and now he wants to do it again, to America.

On the domestic front they have fared no better. While the economy performed well for a few years in the 80's, the real deficit spending also began. As the 80's turned into the 90's, the economy again suffered and the deficits spun out of control. When a Democrat entered the White House in 1993, he inherited a domestic mess so severe that most wondered if he could make any real difference. Eight years later, when he left office, our budgets were in surplus, our economy had grown more than in any modern period, small businesses were booming all over America, fewer people went without health care, a more comfortable middle class was growing for the first time in four decades, we were largely at peace throughout the world and more Americans were optimistic about the new century than ever before. In 2001, however, the movement right wing took complete control of the federal government for the first time.

This indeed marked the first time that the ideological right wing "movement" conservatives really held all the cards. Many prior Republican leaders had been of the older guard and less gung ho about the radical right wing. The GOP was now the party of DeLay, Brownback, Santorum, Frist and George W. Bush and they held all the power. Foreign policy would be in the hands of global military dominationists from the Project for The New American Century, such as Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Wolfowitz, Perle and Bolton, who all came to their new jobs foaming at the mouth to re-invade Iraq. America would clearly not be at peace much longer.

The glaring ommision in the new national security/defense strategy? No priority given to global terrorism whatsoever. So when global terrorism found us on 9/11/01, it simply became time to blame the Democrat who had left office eight months earlier and whose administration had prevented several attacks on our shores during the late 90's AND first made Osama Bin Ladin a wanted man internationally.

9/11 also gave the failed movementeers an opportunity to justify the Iraqi invasion they had so desperately craved during those eight long years out of power. There were just two obstacles. The first was the clear evidence that Osama Bin Ladin and Al-Qaeda were responsible for 9/11 and that they were being sheltered by the Taliban government in Afghanistan. Which meant that a half-hearted military operation in that country must supercede Iraqi invasion in order to maintain public credibility. The second and bigger obstacle was the truth. The truth was that although Saddam Hussein had been a terrible tyrant, he had been largely under our control since the first Gulf War (as both Condoleeza Rice and former Secretary of State Colin Powell had publicly stated in 2001), that there was only questionable evidence of Iraqi WMD programs at best and that Hussein's government had no links to Al-Qaeda.

The solution for the second obstacle was the biggest and most dishonest public relations campaign in American history. In September 2002, our failed movement President, his failed cabinet and the right wing media began an incredible PR push to link Iraq with 9/11 where there was no evidence, convince Americans that Saddam was resisting inspections and paint Iraq as a nation on the verge of selling nuclear and biological weapons to terrorists. At one point, one could actually watch the failed ideological movement President on TV saying that Saddam would not let inspectors do their job and split screen live footage of Saddam's Al-Samuud missiles being destroyed by those very inspectors. As they say, "The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it". The problem is that we wanted to believe it. Americans had hated Hussein for over a decade. It was an easy message to digest. It was also, unfortunately, a pack of lies. War based on lies is never "a noble cause".

The end results of the Iraqi invasion have acted as the smell of fresh brewed coffee and sound of sizzling bacon Americans needed to wake them from their dreamlike trance. We now see an Iraq on the verge of two outcomes, civil war, an Islamic state or both. Civil war would keep our military mired there in a hornet's nest worse than the one which already exists. A Shiite dominated Islamic state would naturally align itself with the Shiite dominated Iran and create a far more formidable enemy than Saddam Hussein ever was. An Islamic state in Iraq would also continue to be the kind of breeding and training ground for anti-American terrorists it has now become. All of these outcomes share one common idea, they couldn't be more beautiful to Osama Bin Ladin and the leaders of Al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups.

The failed movement President and his failed neocon ideological foreign policy team have handed Bin Ladin his greatest wish, another Islamic state in the Middle East and one that will soon align with other terrorist sponsors. America's enemy number one couldn't possibly be any more pleased. For this our sons and daughters have died in the desert. Unlike in the Vietnam era, however, the troops are not being held to blame or hated, even by the most vocal opponents of the Iraq war. That awful experience has shown Americans that our soldiers simply do the job which they are sent to do. They are surely not to blame. Instead it is the leaders who send them so eagerly who must answer for their actions. This is truly a failed President, a failed foreign policy team, a failure in the war against terrorism and a tragic blow to America's standing in the world. A failed right wing movement indeed.

On the domestic side the failed right wing movement again did what they always do, thay cut taxes on wealth while turning a blind eye toward the working poor, lower and middle classes. This did not work because it never works. Unless the American economy is broadening as it grows it will always be doomed to sluggish behavior at best. Unless more and more people are contributing to our economic growth the economy is not truly expanding, money is simply shifting upward to those who already have lots of it. This is exactly the kind of economy the failed movement right wingers want anyway. So they are perfectly happy with it. The rest of us must tread water in an economic riptide which will eventually pull us under.

Trillions in tax cuts for the wealthiest have had yet another bad effect for America. They have ripped a gaping hole in our once desirable budget situation. We have slid from a $250 Billion budget surplus back into the black hole of $500 Billion deficits in just a few years time. Our total debt now nears $9 Trillion. No, 9/11 and the Iraq war are not the chief causes, although they haven't helped any. Five million more Americans have no health insurance in the last few years. More abortions have been performed in this country every year under our failed movement President and failed Congress. Every year under the Democrat, the number declined. The failed movement President's education programs still remain unfunded which sends property taxes up. Meanwhile too many of our children are still not receiving the best education possible. The failed movement President's energy policy has offered Americans only unconstitutional secrecy, rolling blackouts, higher bills, tax cuts for already massively profitable corporations (more than 60% of which pay zero income taxes, driving our taxes higher) and $3.00 plus prices for a gallon of gas. Those gas prices now threaten to jolt our economy back into recession in the near future.

In 1994, Newt Gingrich told America that if we gave his party control of the Congress they would enact sweeping changes which would restore our government's openness and make us proud of the institution once again. Twelve years later, what we have instead is the most corrupt US House in modern history. It is a bizarre story with all the aspects of the allegorical "Animal Farm". Yes, the pigs have indeed become the men, only far, far worse.

K Street lobbyists pour in and out of Congress at an historic rate. Corporations pony up for legislation under failed and corrupt Majority Leader DeLay as though they were customers at a Deli counter. Ethics rules are a thing of the past as the movement leadership has tied up the Committee meant to oversee such matters. The voices of the Minority are regularly silenced as are any ammendments they offer. Voice votes which clearly favor a Minority position are ruled as being the opposite. Process is often used as a weapon to keep the Minority from influencing or even understanding the legislation which they are voting on.

Laws which are unconstitutional regularly pass this failed movement US House, in Bill form, until perhaps the courts finds them to be such a violation. Even worse, this failed movement Congress shows no desire to fill it's constitutional role as a check upon our failed movement President's administration. Meanwhile the failed movement Congress does everything it can to undermine the power of the judicial branch, which is not ideologically "movement" enough for them.

Our government is now the most secretive government in American history. The ordinary American no longer has any voice, not when an ideological movement is at work. The recent Terri Schiavo affair proved to this country that the failed movement Congress is only interested in pleasing their political base and advancing their narrow agenda, not in representing all of the people as our founders intended.

In a recent poll, just 19% of Americans said that this failed movement Congress shares their agenda and is pursuing the right path for this country. This number speaks volumes about the failure of the right wing movement. As does our failed movement President's 36% approval rating. Further proof of the death of the right wing movement comes from the right wing itself. When such a well-heeled and dedicated right winger as Pat Buchanan is writing books with titles like "How the Right Went Wrong" and moderate Republicans such as our former Governor and Bush EPA Head Christie Todd Whitman pen tomes entitled "It's My Party Too", you know there's trouble in the right wing ideological paradise. It literally stinks of failure. As elected Republicans around the country rapidly jump off the Social Security and Iraq war bandwagons, Democrats are showing signs of pulling together in order to offer the American people a real and lasting alternative to the movement right wing's ideological fanaticism.

The Democrats have a tremendous opportunity in 2006 and 2008. The failed right wing movement and it's failed President have indeed failed miserably to deliver on any promise or "contract" it has made with the American people. It is not just a political opportunity, however, but also a tremendous responsibility. Americans do not want an ideological left wing movement to replace the failed ideological right wing one. America needs instead to protect it's democracy, to expand and not retract civil rights, to protect it's homeland and make the world a safer place. We need all of this and more while growing our economy and making the American dream available to more Americans all the time. A Democrat, against heavy odds, acheived these lofty goals not too long ago. The failed right wing movement and our failed movement President have failed miserably on every single count. A failure as President and a failure of radical right wing ideology.

Real governance means allowing and not stifling opposition, not calling it treason. Real governance means open government that seeks to represent all Americans, not just a radical few. Real governance also means a President who will listen not only to those who agree with him but more importantly to those who don't, because they are Americans too. Real governance ultimately means that the President, Senators and Representatives all must answer to the people for the actions they take, especially in time of war and never just on Election Day. If Democrats can succeed not only politically but more importantly in governance itself, where the ideological right wing has so badly failed, then the new century may yet hold the shining future for which we all hope.


The Failed Ideological Right Wing Movement is Dead, Long Live America.

The Bush Disconnect? You'd better believe it!

What's the latest from that radical left-wing media? This week they're trumpeting the latest Bush White House talking point, which is, "There's a Bush disconnect because despite the wonderful economy we're enjoying, Bush isn't getting credit for it in the polls". Wow, they're really getting tough with this President, huh?

No, while there is a definite Bush disconnect, it definitely ain't that. The Bush disconnect is, in fact, a clear and visible disconnect from the truth. George W. Bush has suffered from this problem all of his life. At long last most Americans are catching on. I knew this ten years ago. As Bush began to position himself for the 2000 Republican Presidential nomination, I watched in disbelief. Anyone who knew a little bit about the Bush family, knew that George W. was the least of the "shrubs" (as Texas columnist Molly Ivins refers to the Bush children).

This was a man who spent the first forty years of his life tearing down every advantage into which he was born. Drinking, fighting, drug abuse and selfish arrogance were all he could make out of his priviliged life. Though he cleaned up his personal life to an extent, his professional life was simply atrocious. Born into tremendous money, he squandered millions on phony speculation and sank more into bad ideas. His only business "success", if you can call it that, was to buy a tiny percentage of the Texas Rangers (as the public face of a large consortium), build up the team's worth by blackmailing the city of Arlington, Texas into building a new, luxury stadium, selling out his shares to the tune of a 3200% profit, all with an eye toward public relations and running for political office.

As Governor of Texas, Bush did less than nothing. He did harm, just as he has done to America. In 2000, Bush ran for President by touting intitiatives which he not only didn't create but he had actually vetoed when they came from the state legislature. After the legislature overturned his vetoes, I guess he figured he may as well take all the credit. Worse yet, Bush "wrote" (if the man doesn't read books then he surely doesn't write books) an autobiography during the campaign entitled "A Charge to Keep". Any knowledgeable person who has read that book knows that it is a bigger work of fiction than any Anne Rice novel or the latest Harry Potter story. The only reliable information in that book may well be that:

A. His name is George
B. He has a wife named Laura
C. They have twins

After those factual tidbits, you'd better be on your guard, you're being propagandized. Bush took office in 2001 telling Americans things like, "I'm a uniter not a divider" and "by far the majority of my tax cuts go to those at the bottom". His early political agenda, his cabinet appointments and the fiscal reality of those tax cuts, proved him to be a liar but the "liberal" media said nothing. Remember, though, that most of the national media heavyweights live in Bush's economy, not in the real one. In Bush's economy, you could call it The Beltway Economy, "those at the bottom" means anyone making between $100,000 and $250,000 per year. They have more limited stock portfolios than Bush's buddies and they may not have a Summer home anywhere fashionable yet.

In the real America, the one that more than 90% of us live in, people are working harder and for more hours, at worse paying jobs, with less benefits, spending less time with their children and facing a less secure future. We don't have a stock portfolio at all. Some of us may have dabbled a little bit in the market but we can't afford anything more. We don't own a home and we're not too sure how we're going to make it through this life. When Bill Clinton was President, life was getting a little bit better for us. Since Bush, we're right back where we were before, only worse now.

Bush lied us into war. Pure and simple. All the evidence is there for anyone who is able and willing to face the truth. Look back to the Project for a New American Century and the agenda with which Bush's entire foreign policy team took office. Look at the Downing Street minutes, they tell the full story more than a year before war in Iraq began. Look with your own eyes as the justification for attacking Iraq changes every six months depending on the effectiveness of the current sales pitch. The entire argument does not need to be repeated here. It's already been well documented. Gradually the American people have grasped this reality as their President continues to waffle and waver on reasons why we attacked a largely unarmed country and questions about the administration's poor strategy repeatedly go unanswered.

If just once in the last two years Bush had stood humbly before the nation and told us that, in fact, he had been mistaken about Iraq but that he had been convinced from the beginning that it was necessary (true or not), that he was heartily sorry for the loss of life and that we now owe it to the Iraqi people to stay until they can properly keep their nation together, he might have recaptured a skeptical public. Now it is too late. America has written off Bush. For too long he has spoken to them in slogans and with a defensive arrogance that infuriates them. They have now seen too clearly that the evidence in front of their own eyes is completely opposite what their President and his administration are telling them daily.

When Bill Clinton was caught lying to the American people about his private life, he went before the nation on prime time television and admitted his faults and told them that he was sorry. Clinton is still more popular than Bush has ever been. This lesson has been lost on Bush. He just does not have the personal confidence necessary to make such a humbling statement. He protects himself instead with a false arrogance which only masks a complete lack of character. His inability to acknowledge reality and deal with it has been his biggest undoing. All his life it has been his worst character flaw. He has never in his life had to take responsibility for his mistakes, he always had a free pass because of his last name. From drunk driving to business failure to a failing foreign policy, it's all the same to Bush. No responsibility, unless something ever goes right. Then it's all trumpets and mountaintops.

So yes, there is a very real Bush disconnect. Whether it is the mythology of an ineffective and foolishly prosecuted war against terrorism, the fairytale of a strong and vibrant economy or the ridiculousness of the "plain, average joe, guy you'd like to have a beer with" President. Bush's wife recently and unwittingly exposed the lie to that last part. While publicly kidding her husband at a function, Laura Bush referred to her husband's "ranching experience" by reminding the audience that Andover Prep and Yale don't exactly offer the finest "brush clearing" programs.

Finally, the Bush disconnect will be lasting and complete. Americans, thankfully, now understand that the President is lying nearly every time he opens his mouth. I'm so thrilled that all of you have caught up with me at last. Before 2000, I told many, many people that if Bush became President he would prove to be the worst President in the history of our country. Damned if I wasn't right. Sorry but I told ya' so.

Jesus '08

Jesus/Santorum - Jesus/Frist - Jesus/J. Bush, does it really matter anyway?

OK, so now we've started looking for the perfect Democratic and Republican Presidential candidates for 2008. Well, the Democrats do have Hillary Clinton, maybe. If not, then perhaps Joe Biden? * Gulp*

What about the Republicans? We should really start calling them what they actually are, anyway. The Inquisicans. They are looking for a perfect candidate for '08 and yet they keep coming up a little short. Bill Frist looked good for a while but then he decided to support Stem Cell research. Well, that just won't do. Jeb Bush showed some promise at first but then he didn't order the Florida State Police to shoot any hospice worker or judge who showed an aversion to keeping the lifeless alive. Plus, he's a Catholic and you know how they are!

True believers like Santorum, DeLay or Brownback may look good now but DeLay may well be in prison by '08 and neither Santorum nor Brownback look really impressive enough in the long white robe, long hair and beard. So I say how about it? Let's just go all the way this time and encourage the GOP to nominate the guy they really want after all. Why not? *Jesus '08*. Heck, you don't even need a Vice-President, after all, even if the big guy should happen to kick off he doesn't tend to stay dead very long anyway, right? Just imagine if we didn't need Dick Cheney, for example? Well, it's really the other guy who's actually unnecessary, I know, but.....just think, President Jesus.

For nearly forty years a cult movement has been gripping this country in it's vice. Like any other movement, it started slowly, at first, and was roundly ridiculed. Remember those bumper stickers which read, "The Moral Majority is Neither". I do. You don't see them too much anymore. They've been replaced by stickers like this gem I saw the other day, "A real Catholic cannot be Pro-Abortion". It was affixed securely to the back of a big ugly SUV, right above a Bush/Cheney '04 sticker. Yes, they've even begun recruiting Catholics based on abortion and gay rights issues. As if it's just fine for American Catholics to support a war that Pope John Paul II publicly called immoral and unnecessary. Where was that bumper sticker I wonder? They've seduced many Jews as well. How? By using their hatred of terrorists, of course. Because, you know, Democrats love the terrorists. Oh, the times they are a changin', indeed.

Persistently, "born-again" Christian activists have been taking up positions in the GOP. At the federal, state and local levels, these activists have spent many years learning how to organize, finance and coordinate political campaigns. Staffers regularly jump back and forth between state anti-abortion organizations and their local Republican party chapters. As the number of born agains in America has swelled into the millions they too have become the majority of "foot soldier" volunteers working on Republican campaigns.

Their churches often literally become campaign headquarters. It can now safely be said that no candidate for President with an (R) after their name can win nomination from the party without their complete support. If one ever should somehow, they would be resoundingly defeated by their Democratic opponent, as Christian conservatives stayed home. Anyone remember George H. W. Bush or Bob Dole?

Four decades ago these people entered a party which was mainly interested in conservative, pro-business policies, lower taxes and smaller government. They've injected a new aspect which now completely dominates the party, as their numbers grow from within it, "moral conservatism" is it's current public label.

Moral conservatism to the "moral" conservative means two parent households only (male and female that is), Christian law, a complete lack of tolerance for any deviation from "normal" behaviour and a healthy respect for human life (at least up until birth, apparently). How conservative Christian leaders and Republican politicians have managed to mingle traditional conservatism with Christian conservatism and hold the party together for so long has been a modern marvel and perhaps the eigth man-made wonder of the world. The marriage of these two entirely opposite principles may not exactly be a gay marriage but it sure as hell ain't a straight one either.

Two words have helped greatly in this political miracle, one is Socialism, the other, Communism. You see, now that the Cold War is over, liberals had to become the new enemy. I know, I know, terrorists too but let's stick to one issue right now. Besides, terrorists are an actual enemy. Not an imagined one, like liberals, who, as we've already recognized, are also with the terrorists anyway. If you've ever wondered why all these neocon talking heads have taken to calling libs or dems "communists" over the last ten years, now you know. Because it works really well. It keeps traditional conservatives all whipped up and it gives Christian conservatives nightmares about Godlessness. The fact that we have recently seen so many elected Republicans calling Democrats "Godless" is simply a panicked reaction to their dwindling poll numbers. It's a preview for 2006. Believe me, the 2006 House and Senate races will be all about God, Jesus and the bible, at least on the Republican side. They have absolutely nothing else left to run on.

So why not simply run Jesus as a candidate? I understand that he's not physically available right now, you know, right hand of the father and all that, but these radical conservative christian zealots believe that he's coming back very soon. Why not by the Summer of '08? It's worth a shot, no?

I have some bad news for every Republican I've met here in New Jersey (as in, civilization) who has told me, with great certainty (and some arrogance), that their 2008 Presidential nominee will be either:

That "moderate" Senator from Arizona, you know him South Carolina, who is certifiably insane, went over to the enemy after 6 years in prison camp, has a drug addict wife and an illegitimate black child.

or

The Governor of Massachussetts (they hated the Senator, you know) whose religion is considered blaspemy by the zealots.

or

The Governor of New York who is Pro-Choice on abortion.

or

The former Mayor of New York City who is ethnically Italian, Catholic, also Pro-Choice on abortion and had his mistress share his wife's bed while she was out of town.

I think not, rational Repubs (the few, the proud). No, instead, your party's nominee will likely be someone from below the old mason-dixon line, who looks like Jimmy Swaggart and sounds a lot like Cooter from the old "Dukes of Hazzard" TV series. Am I the only one that's sick to death of listening to Presidents drawl at me? (yes, even him too)

Wouldn't Jesus be a better pick? Come on, let's imagine for a minute:

**** WARNING **** Any humor remaining in this column may require actual familiarity with the Bible's New Testament **** (this will leave out most conservatives)


It's January 20, 2009. President Jesus stands at the Inaugural podium. He's just been sworn in by the US Supreme Court's new Chief Justice, Randall Terry. In November he defeated Hillary Clinton by the greatest landslide in American history. In fact, Clinton received only a single vote nationwide, her own. Yep, even Bill voted for the other guy. How could you vote against Jesus? What, an effective negative ad campaign did him in? I don't think so.

Christ looks down as the new First Lady, Mary Magdalene ( YES platonically, relax!), stoops to annoint his feet with tears. Near him is the new Ambassador to the United Nations, Paul (you know, Saul). He has John Bolton in a rather nasty headlock. Next to Paul (Saul) is the new Secretary of Defense, a lone white dove, flapping it's wings as it begins to ascend skyward.

Jesus approaches the microphone as the crowd hushes in anticipation, "All that I ask of you, America," the saviour begins, "Is that you follow the example I left you by my apostles, my teaching and my love." As the Lord further explains what this means, the conservatives seated right up front begin looking around in confusion. They realize, with great shock and horror, that God's only son is telling them to sell all of their wordly possessions and give their wealth to Simon Peter, Secretary of Re-Distribution, a new cabinet level post created by Jesus, who will apportion it to all the desperately needy of the world.

Now the conservatives begin to recognize the predicament of John Bolton. "Why would Paul treat one of the true faithful in such a way," they ask? At this, the earth begins to open and fire shoots from it's cracks. Suddenly Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell, Randall Terry, Tim LaHaye, Jimmy Swaggart, Benny Hinn, Phyllis Schlaffly and many more, along with several Catholic Bishops and Osama Bin Ladin cry out in mortal pain as their bodies are hurled into the fiery pit by unseen forces. This sends the conservative Christians into hysterics. They cry out, "Lord Jesus, why are you doing this to our leaders. Didn't they bring us to you"? Christ answers, "Did I not warn you that near the end there would be those who would come among you and pervert my teachings? That these were strangers to me and my father? Did you not hear with your own ears what blaspemy they told to you"?

With these words the conservative Christians fall into the pit as well, doomed to fry for all eternity on an enormous burning pile of sixty million copies of the "Left Behind" book series. Jesus turns to Dick Cheney and the outgoing Bush cabinet next. With a flick of his finger, they are all gone into the fire as well. The former Vice-President will spend eternity trying in vain to cash cancelled Halliburton dividend checks!

Nearby where Cheney had been seated, George W. Bush, ever alert and at the ready, begins to suspect that maybe something might be wrong. The Lord turns to him finally and says,"And you", Bush interrupts," h-h-h-hey now, Jesus, what's all this. Didn't I serve you well. D-Didn't you tell me twenty years ago that you were calling me to be President"?

With a look of pure pity on his face, Jesus answers," No George. I bore you into one of the wealthiest and most powerful families in all creation. This good fortune you squandered for forty years on every last wordly desire you could find. When you were called to a war that you said you supported, you used your family to keep you safe from the fighting. The man who went in your place has been with my father and I for many years now. Then, you called my name one night and asked me to cure you of drink and save your marriage. These things I willingly gave you and you turned from me again.

First you cheated millions and broke the law in order to make more wealth. Then you, again motivated by greed, condemned the property of thousands and blackmailed the people who I told you were my brothers into building a baseball stadium for you. A baseball stadium, George! Then you entered politics. You bore horrible false witness against everyone you ran against and encouraged others to do the same. You became President, the most powerful leader in this world and you used that power to enrich your friends, slaughter thousands of people who never attacked you and torture thousands more, some were completely innocent, George. Did you know that or did you know that a couple of those you put to death in Texas were innocent as well?

Bush is trembling with terror now. Jesus continues, "Now you stand before me and you ask me, "Didn't I serve you, Lord"? "No, George, that wasn't me you were serving and it wasn't me who called you to be President, either," the Lord finished as he glanced down into the fiery abyss. The reference, unfortunately, was lost on Bush. But not what happened next. Jesus showed Bush the face of every innocent Iraqi civilian, as they died horribly, bombs dropping upon them. Then he cast the ex-President into the pit with all the others where he found himself chained to a horned Karl Rove, who poked him with a pitchfork for all eternity for nicknaming him "turd-blossom".

Then Jesus began ascending once again toward Heaven. Following him were all the good people of the Earth. Some were Jewish, some Christian, some Catholic, some muslim. In fact, all faiths seemed to be among them. These people had lived their lives as Jesus had asked. The fact that they had not professed, "I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour" hadn't been so important to Christ after all. He'd just never had that big of an ego. Yes, some were good, honest Republicans and many were also good, honest Democrats and even Liberals. After all, what most Liberals had really wanted was to leave America and the world as better places than they had found them. AMEN.